You're Not Falling Behind, Even When it Feels Like it
Insights (and jobs!) for young people stuck in social comparison
Recently, I was talking with a group of young professionals about social comparison—the tendency to view your self-worth based on how you measure up against others.
In the age of social media, this has become a daily challenge. When we scroll through feeds filled with career wins and big life milestones, it’s easy to ask yourself:
👉🏼Am I falling behind?
👉🏼Am I not as good as them?
It’s a slippery slope. And for many of us, stepping away from social media isn’t realistic because it’s tied to school, work, or networking. So what do we do? Here are two shifts that have helped me:
If you notice yourself getting caught in comparison, take a step back. Not all scrolling is equal—try engaging with content that has nothing to do with the accomplishments of your peers.
When I reflect on my progress, I don’t compare myself to others. I compare myself to where I was last month or last year. Self-comparison is the only way to actually measure growth.
The Science: Social media creates an unlimited opportunity for upward comparison—comparing ourselves to people we perceive as doing better than us. Research shows that frequent upward comparison is linked to lower self-esteem and increased symptoms of depression. But there’s a flip side: temporal comparison (comparing your current self to your past self) is associated with greater insight and progress. It shifts your brain’s focus from competition with others to personal growth.
Take-home Strategy: Feeling trapped in the social comparison cycle? Here are a few things you can do:
✅ Notice when social comparison starts — awareness is step one
✅ Whether it’s reducing screen time or adjusting who you follow, find intentional ways to avoid content that triggers social comparison
✅ Set small, personal goals and track your own progress over time
Remember—the goal isn’t to keep up with everyone’s highlight reels. It’s to build a life that feels authentic to you.
Want to Learn More? Check out these References
Warrender, D., & Milne, R. (2020). Social media, social comparison and mental health. Nursing times, 116(3), 58-61.
Le Blanc-Brillon, J., Fortin, J. S., Lafrance, L., & Hétu, S. (2025). The associations between social comparison on social media and young adults’ mental health. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1597241. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1597241
Gürel, Ç., Brummelman, E., Sedikides, C., & Overbeek, G. (2020). Better than my past self: Temporal comparison raises children’s pride without triggering superiority goals. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 149(8), 1554.
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